Not For Me to Say

I am not the same person I was three years ago.
I know in that time I have changed much
Perhaps for the better, perhaps not.
It's not for me to say.

I know I gave it a fighting chance to survive
But it takes two to keep love alive.
Bouncing between present and past,
and back yet again
I could not, with love alone,
change the die once cast.

You showed me things I needed to know.
And for that I will always thank you.
You don't know still what it is you want;
Regret will be your guide through life
If you don't break the chains of
Destructive familiarity that bind you.
And, you have no idea you are its prisoner.

I can't wait anymore, my life urges me
Forward to a new beginning.
A life, however, that will have room for you,
if and when you want it.
I gave you my best, but it went unrecognized
You'll have no idea what you unwittingly discarded,
until it is no longer within your grasp.

I am not the problem, the dilemma, the conflict.
My intent was clearly stated;
My feelings and thoughts
were proffered with honesty.
I tried my best to be everything your heart desired.
It was, sadly, not enough to break through
Years of neglect, being ignored, being forgotten.

You will always have my love, my caring;
My attention when you need a friend.
I will be here for you when and if you need me,
But for now, I must press on and meet the goals
I have set for myself.

I will always love you for the man you are now, and
I've seen the man you can become.
I will always love you for the man you were
When I needed affirmation.
I will always love you,
But now, we must stay parted.

Perhaps the fates will be kind and join us
yet again.
And I do not know what will pass for us to
get to that point.
It is not for me to say.


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